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Season 4
Money
As Jan renovates the condo, Michael confronts his growing debt every way he can, which includes pressuring his employees for a loan. Pam and Jim spend a night out on Dwight’s family farm, now a bed and breakfast.
Memorable Quotes
Michael Scott: I... DECLARE... BANKRUPTCY!Jim Halpert: Mose has nightmares?
Dwight Schrute: Oh yes... ever since the storm.
Michael Scott: So this one goes with my eyes and this one goes with your eyes. People have said I have very pretty eyes.
Jan: You do.
Michael Scott: I haven't heard the same about you. So let's just go with mine.
Michael Scott: Yes. Money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money wise.
Michael Scott: Used to have two cars, traded them in, now we're down to one. Good economic sense. Although the new car is a Porsche. For her.
Michael Scott: So bankruptcy is kind of like the witness protection program?
Oscar: Not at all.
Creed: Exactly.
Creed: Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider.
Dwight Schrute: As of this morning, we are completely wireless here on Schrute Farms. So as soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we can have power back on.
Dwight Schrute: Schrute Farms, guten tag! How may I help you?... Yes we have availability on those nights... How many in your party?... Oh no, I'm sorry, no king beds... No queen either... Well, we make our own mattresses that don't conform to the usual sizes. Closest would be twin... Thank you so much for calling. Call back again, auf wiedersehen!
Jim Halpert: Hey, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: None of your business, Jim.
Dwight Schrute: Agro-tourism is a lot more than a bed-and-breakfast. It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, giving them breakfast.
Michael Scott: I just love sales. I love it to death. It's as simple as that. And I don't get to do it enough as a manager, so I took this second job. I count it as a hobby. Some people have golf, or relaxing.
Pam: [sees Mose outside in an outhouse with the door opening in the wind] Oh my God. What century is this?
Ryan Howard: What I really want, honestly, Michael, is for you to know it so you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, to whomever.
Michael Scott: Oh okay...
Ryan Howard: What?
Michael Scott: It's whoever, not whomever.
Ryan Howard: No, it's whomever.
Michael Scott: No, whomever is never actually right.
Jim Halpert: Well, sometimes it's right.
Creed: Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students.
Andy: No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word.
Oscar: Obviously it's a real word, but I don't know when to use it correctly.
Michael Scott: Not a native speaker.
Kevin Malone: I know what's right, but I'm not gonna say because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night.
Ryan Howard: Do you really know which one is correct?
Kevin Malone: I don't know.
Pam: It's 'whom' when it's the object of the sentence and 'who' when it's the subject.
Phyllis: That sounds right.
Michael Scott: Well, it sounds right, but is it?
Stanley: How did Ryan use it, as an object?
Ryan Howard: As an object.
Kelly: Ryan used me as an object.
Stanley: Is he right about that?
Pam: How did he use it again?
Toby Flenderson: It was Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to, uh, explain the computer system, the object, to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object, which is the correct usage of the word.
Michael Scott: No one asked you anything ever, so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull?
Dwight Schrute: My girlfriend and I broke up recently. And I must say, I am relieved. Gives me a chance to sow my wild oats. In the Schrute family, we have a tradition, where when the male has sex with another woman, he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his door step by his parents. You can use these oats to make oatmeal, bread, whatever you want. I don't care - they're your oats.
Phyllis: He's always been terrible with money.
Stanley: I bet it's Jan spending him straight to the poor house.
Kevin Malone: Yeah, women be shoppin'.
[Kevin tries to fist-pound Stanley, but Stanley does not budge]
Meredith: I can't believe he has a second job.
Oscar: He's not even good at his first one.
Michael Scott: Hey guys.
Kevin Malone: Shh.
Michael Scott: What'cha talking about? [everyone is silent] Okay, I know what's going on. You're talking about Jim and Pam, if they're having sex, what it looks like. I know. I think-
Pam: Michael.
[Michael turns to see Pam behind him]
Michael Scott: Hey, hey, hey!
Oscar: Michael, are you having money problems?
Michael Scott: Monkey problem? No, I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems?
Oscar: You heard me correctly.
Michael Scott: I hate monkeys.
Pam: What's going on, why do you have a second job?
Michael Scott: I don't have a second job. Maybe I'm having an affair with Suzanne Sommers.
Pam: Doesn't Jan have money?
Michael Scott: I don't talk to my girlfriend about money. It is rude and unsexual.
Kevin Malone: True, it's best to hide our money problems from women.
Michael Scott: I totally agree with you. But I don't have money problems, I don't. Alright, you know what? Watch this, if I had money problems, would I do this? [Michael takes out a dollar bill, crumples it up and puts it back in his pocket]
Stanley: You just put it back in your pocket.
Michael Scott: Yeah, but I destroyed it. It's not even useable anymore.
Jim Halpert: Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton?
Dwight Schrute: [sobs]
Jim Halpert: Yeah, I didn't think I had. Well, it was all about Pam. Yeah, I mean, she was with Roy... and I just couldn't take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. And then weird stuff, like, food had no taste. So my solution was to move away. It was awful. And it's something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. And that includes you.