Season 4

Local Ad

When the Scranton branch is asked to participate in a Dunder Mifflin ad, Michael seizes his chance to exhibit his creativity. Meanwhile, Dwight explores the online world of Second Life.

Memorable Office Quotes

Jim Halpert: I think it's great that the company's making a commercial. Because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers. Or muffins. Or mittens. And frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

Michael Scott: Phyllis is like our Mrs. Butterworth. Kind of a less urban Aunt Jemima.

Andy Bernard: Best ad ever, 'gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that--' I am totally blanking. What is the thing?
Jim Halpert: Nobody tell him!
Andy Bernard: Wh- no, why?
Jim Halpert: You got it. You're so close.

Andy Bernard: ... It has to rhyme with 'piece'. 'Break me off a piece of that ... Fancy Feast.' That's it! It's cat food.

Andy Bernard: Break me off a piece of that...Chrysler car? Football cream?

Andy Bernard: Break me off a piece of that...Grey Poupon?

Michael Scott: You know what I want this to be cutting-edge, I want it to be fast, quick cuts. You know, youthful, sort of, um, MTV on crack kind of thing.

Dwight Schrute: Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user, virtual environment. It doesn't have points, or scores, it doesn't have winners or losers.
Jim Halpert: Oh it has losers.

Dwight Schrute: I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great that I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same...except I could fly.

Michael Scott: Little girl, in a field, holding a flower. We zoom back, to find, she's in the desert, and the field's an oasis. Zoom back further, the desert is a sandbox in the world's largest resort hotel. Zoom back further, the hotel is actually a playground, of the world's largest prison. But we zoom back further--
Ad Designer: Okay, um, I can tell that your time is valuable...

Ad Designer: It's the last five seconds where we have some leeway.
Michael Scott: The waving?
Ad Designer: Well, no no, you don't have to be waving, that was just what they did. You guys can be clapping... sitting, standing outside inside wherever... I mean this is where you really get to be creative.

Andy Bernard: Been spending a lot of time making out with Angela lately. We've been necking. But only necking. Right? Not actually... kissing, our mouths. Just a neck-on-neck. It's, just like, rubbing slash nuzzling our necks together?

Dwight Schrute: We cannot talk about this. Because, someone might hear us.
Andy Bernard: We'll use code names.
Dwight Schrute: Angela can stay the same, but we'll change Andy to Dwight.
Andy Bernard: That's not different enough.

Assistant: You have a call from Eddie Murphy.
Ryan Howard: Hello.
Michael Scott: Shrek! I'm a donkey! I'm a donkey Shrek!

Michael Scott: Just have a small problem.
Ryan Howard: I told you not to call about small problems.

Ryan Howard: It's not part of your job. It's like, maybe you can cook but that doesn't mean you should start a restaurant.
Michael Scott: Well actually I can't cook and I am starting a restaurant. Mike's Cereal Shack. I'm thinking we'll have as many varieties as you can buy in a store.

Michael Scott: Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet.

Michael Scott: Oh hey David, I'm glad you called, Ryan is being such a little bitch again...
Ryan Howard: I'm on Michael.
Michael Scott: Oh hey Ryan, what's up my brother?!

Michael Scott: And thus, Michael Scott sealed his own destiny... in a good way.

Michael Scott: They're wrong, you are creative. You are damn creative. Each and every one of you. You are so much more creative than all the other dry, boring morons that you work with.
Jim Halpert: Who are you talking to, specifically?

Kevin Malone: I kinda know what it's like to be in commericals. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.

Oscar: When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor in commericals then I realized I had a brain.

Meredith: I'm excited about doing the ad, but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around.

Michael Scott: We have three scenes to film, big scenes. We have a song to write, so let's get cracking. Kelly, I want you to do makeup. Oscar, I would like you to do costume design, obviously. Phyllis, I would like you to look around town and see if we have any celebrities in our local area.

Andy Bernard: Does anyone actually know what Sue Grafton looks like? I mean is she hot or?
Creed: She's crazy hot.

Angela: I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

Michael Scott: I was under the impression that this was going to be a rap.
Darryl: What's rap?
Michael Scott: Darryl, wow. You need to learn a lot about your own culture. I'll make you a mix.
Darryl: Great.

Pam: Who's that?
Jim Halpert: Oh that's just my avatar- guy. Whatever.
Pam: He looks a lot like you. How much time did you spend on this?
Jim Halpert: Not much. It's just for tracking Dwight, so...
Pam: Right. You're a sports writer in Philadelphia? Nice build, too.
Jim Halpert: Yep.
Pam: You have a guitar, slung on your back. I did not know you played guitar.
Jim Halpert: I-- why don't we go back to animation?
Pam: No, no I wanna see more of Philly Jim! I want Philly Jim.
Jim Halpert: Ahh, show me how this works.
Pam: Oh boy.

Michael Scott: I hate it! I hate it. I don't hate it, I just don't like it. At all. And it's terrible.

Jim Halpert: Pam is staying late tonight to, uh, achieve her dreams. So, pretty proud of her. Unfortunately she was my ride--
Meredith: You comin'!?
Jim Halpert: I uhh--
Meredith: Piss or get off the pot!

Jim Halpert: Yeah, I'm sorry. I looked away for a second and Creed snatched your hashbrowns.

Pam: I worked until about 2:45am. And then I had to decide if I wanted to spend the night with Michael, editing in his office, and Dwight, watching Michael editing in his office, or drive home and probably fall asleep at the wheel and die in a fiery car wreck. I passed out on my keyboard trying to decide.

Michael Scott: Dunder Mifflin. Limitless paper in a paperless world.

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