Season 4

Dinner Party

Pam and Jim find they have run out of excuses and are forced to go to Jan and Michael's house for dinner. When Andy and Angela are also invited to dinner, Dwight's jealousy gets the best of him.

Memorable Office Quotes

Michael Scott: This is BS! This is BS. Why are we here? I am gonna call corporate. Enough is enough! I'm...God, I'm so mad. (picks up the phone) This is Michael Scott, Scranton. Well, we don't wanna work! No, we don't! It's not fair to these people! These people are my friends and I care about them! We're not gonna do it! (hangs up) Everybody I just got of the horn with corporate. And, uh, basically I told them where they could stick their little overtime assignment. Go enjoy your Friday. (walks up to Jim) I think we should celebrate. How 'bout you, Pam, mi casa, little dinner dancing, drinks?
Jim Halpert: Oh, I...
Michael Scott: You said you didn't have plans. That's what you said.

Jim Halpert: Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least nine times and every time we've been able to get out of it. But I gotta give him credit. He got me. Because...I'm starting to suspect there was no assignment from corporate.

Andy Bernard: (hands Jan a bouquet) Here, these are for you, except for one flower which is for my flower. (presents it to Angela)
Jan: Aw.
Angela: What am I supposed to do with this?

Jan: Oh no, no, no, it's just the Osso Bucco needs to braise for about three hours. Everything else is done!
Pam Beesly: Three hours from now or three hours from earlier, like 4 o'clock?
Jan: You know, Pam, in Spain they often don't even start eating until midnight.
Michael Scott: When in Rome.

Michael Scott: (sipping wine) That was sort of an oaky afterbirth.
Jim Halpert: What was that?

Pam Beesly: I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.

Jim Halpert: So, how do you guys know each other?
Dwight's date: I was his babysitter.
Pam Beesly: And now you guys are dating.
Dwight Schrute: Purely carnal, that's all you need to know.
Jim: (to Dwight's date) Could you write down your e-mail? 'Cause I have just...so many questions.
Dwight's date: E-mail?
Jim Halpert: Never mind.

Pam Beesly: What a cute bench.
Michael Scott: Thanks, that's my bed. Jan has, uh, some space issues so I crawl up on that puppy.
Jim Halpert: Really? 'Cause it seems pretty narrow...and short.
Michael Scott: It's actually a lot bigger than it seems. Look at this. (huddles into a fetal position on the bench)
Jan: See? He fits perfectly.

Jan: It was between the neon beer sign and the "dun-dies," so I said "Honey, keep the trophies."
Michael Scott: (puts his arm around Jan) Oh, honey. I have the best trophy right here. Aside from the Dundies.

Jan: I'm so, so sorry for the temperature in here. The, uh, sliding glass door shattered. It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it babe or should I tell it?
Michael Scott: I don't like that story, babe.
Jan: Come on! It's a cute story. Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck.
Michael Scott: Stop! Stop it! I mean...I like ice cream, okay? Sue me! Oh no, don't! I shouldn't say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue! She loves lawsuits. You know, honey, that door was extremely clean, and it looked invisible.
Jan: You are so right. You are so right! Because before I lived here the glass was always covered with smudges and I moved in and I cleaned it and I guess that makes me the devil!
Michael Scott: (laughing crazily) You are! She is! She is the devil! I'm in hell! I'm burning. Help me.

Michael Scott: Man I would love to burn your candles!
Jan: You burn it you buy it!
Michael Scott: Oh good! I'll be your first customer!
Jan: You're hardly my first.
Michael Scott: That's what she said!

Michael Scott: When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't wanna have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! And I bought this condo to fill with children!
Jan: I am so sorry that I don't wanna bring kids into this screwed up world.
Michael Scott: I am sorry too.
Jan: But look if you wanna have kids, then fine! You win! Let's have a f***ing kid!
Michael Scott: Do you mean it? You wanna have a kid?
Jan: I hate my life.

Jim Halpert: My apartment's on fire.
Pam Beesly: Flooded.
Jim Halpert: Flooded.

Jim Halpert: Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game, and it's called, "Let's See How Uncomfortable We Can Make Our Guests." And they're both winning. So I am going to make a run for it.

Jan: You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath. Whoo! But I don't have to tell you, Pam.
Pam Beesly: Oh. Yeah. What?
Jan: Oh, don't tell me that he's really changed since you guys have dated.
Pam Beesly: Oh, are-are you joking?
Jan: Michael told me a little bit about it but I see the way you look at him.
Pam Beesly: I have never, ever dated, or wanted to do anything resembling dating Michael ever. Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever.
Angela: I've noticed how you look at him at the office.
Jan: Mm-hmm.

Michael Scott: (whispering) Pam, I hope she didn't do anything to the food.
Pam Beesly: Like what?
Michael Scott: I can't prove it, but I think she might be trying to poison me.
(cut to Pam in interview)
Pam Beesly: I know Jan didn't poison the food. I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn't it be me? "Michael's former lover"?

Jim Halpert: Of course.
(camera reveals two police officers approaching)
Dwight Schrute: Excuse me. I'll handle this. What seems to be the problem, officers?
Police Officer: Not now, Dwight.

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