Season 3

Women's Appreciation

Outrage breaks out in the office after Phyllis gets an unexpected eyeful from a flasher. Michael makes some important personal decisions when he takes the women on a special outing. Meanwhile, Dwight and Andy work on catching the predator.

Memorable Quotes

Dwight Schrute: I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.

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Michael Scott: My point is...a penis when seen in the right context is the most wonderful sight for a women. But when seen in the wrong context it's like a monster movie.

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Pam: Can you tell us what happened?
Phyllis: Umm, I was walking to the building and this man asked me for directions. And he was holding a map. And when I walked over, he had it out... on the map.
Angela: Phyllis, you're a married woman.
Creed: The guy was just hanging brain. I mean, what's all the fuss?
Creed: If that's flashing, then lock me up.

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Michael Scott: Women can't have fun if they don't feel safe. For example, Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far. Foliage. And if one of us says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time, she pretended she didn't hear me.

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Dwight Schrute: There are several penises there I'd love Phyllis to run her eyes over.

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Dwight Schrute: I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam, you can draw, kind of, why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community.
Pam: Phallus?
Dwight Schrute: Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.

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Michael Scott: If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.

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Dwight Schrute: You know what? Why doesn't Oscar run the meeting? He's a homosexual.
Jim Halpert: Why don't you run the meeting? You play with dolls.
Dwight Schrute: Those are collectible action figures. And they're worth more than your car.
Michael Scott: You know what? I am the expert. I will conduct it. I know the crap out of women.

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Karen: What you're saying is extremely misogynistic.
Michael Scott: Yes. Thank you. That was not necessary, but I appreciated it. And it proves my point. Women can do anything.
Karen: I'm saying that you're being sexist.
Michael Scott: No, I'm being misogynistic. That is insane, I am not being sexist.
Karen: That...is the same thing.
Phyllis: Michael.
Michael Scott: Yes?
Phyllis: When I got my hair cut short, you asked me if I was a lesbian.

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Andy Bernard: I really appreciate you letting me work alongside you so closely today.
Dwight Schrute: Of course you do, moonface. That's because you're a preppy freak, you're the office pariah and nobody likes you.

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Michael Scott: What is a Pap smear? Or is it "schmear?" Like cream cheese.

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Michael Scott: I like cuddling and spooning, and she likes videotaping us during sex.
Pam: Oh my God.
Michael Scott: And then watching it back right afterward to improve my form.
Karen: That is not healthy behavior.
Michael Scott: No, it's not that bad. The worst part is that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.

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Kevin Malone: [seeing the woman's bathroom for the first time] Oh... my... God...

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Michael Scott: [talking about Jan] Cons. Wears too much makeup. Breasts - not anything to write home about. Insecure about body. I'm unhappy when I'm with her. Flat-chested.
Pam: What was the last one?
Michael Scott: She's totally flat. Shrunken chesticles.

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Creed: I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times, and I have paid dearly.

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Michael Scott: [leaving a voicemail for Jan] Hey Jan, it's me, Michael. I'm just calling to say that I think we need a little break. Permanently. And, uh, I know everybody says this, but I want to remain friends. Or at least, business associates who get along. Oh, just so you know, it's not me, it's you. [Jan walks in]
Michael Scott: Okay buddy. Somebody just walked in, I have to go. Umm, so I'll talk to you later.