Search for "The Office" Quotes
Dwight Schrute
Web QuotesFromTheOffice.com
Quotes From The Office, The Office Quotes

Memorable quotes from the hit NBC show "The Office"

Office Quotes from Dwight Schrute, Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, Andy Bernard & more!

The Office Season 1
The Office Season 2
The Office Season 3
The Office Season 4
Traveling Salesman

 
 
 

Season 3

Traveling Salesman

Michael pushes his desk jockeys to pair up and hit the road for sales-call duty. Meanwhile, Angela misses a crucial deadline, so her secret boyfriend, Dwight, tries to cover for her; and surprising news comes Karen's way.

Memorable Quotes

Harvey: I am Harvey, a computer. Jim sucks.
Harvey: Me so horny. Me love you long tim.
Pam: Who's Long Tim?
Harvey: Long time. Me lobe yoy long time.
Jim Halpert: Well Yoy should bring Long Tim in someday
Harvey: You ruined a funny joke, get out of my offive.
Harvey: Boobs.
Ryan Howard: I'm very flattered. I was his second choice, after "pass"
Michael Scott: Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.
Jan: And where it asks to state your business he wrote, "Beeswax, Not Yours, Inc."
[After Karen has had a makeover]
Karen: Hey, you wanna get a coffee?
Jim Halpert: Sure. Who are you?
Jim Halpert: Ah, young Jim. There's just so much I need to warn you about. And yet, tragically, I cannot.
Pam: Angela, you seem so happy. I bet you wish you were like this all the time.
Andy: I really Schruted it.
Dwight Schrute: Here's my card. It's got my cell number, my pager number, my home number, and my other pager number. I never take vacations, I never get sick, and I don't celebrate any major holidays.
Michael Scott: I want you to think about it long and hard.
Dwight Schrute: That's what she said.
Michael Scott: (lowly) Don't you dare.
Dwight Schrute: Although I love this company more than almost anything in the world, I have decided to step down from my post and spend more time with my family. I do not fear the unknown. I will meet my new challenges head-on, and I will succeed, and I will laugh in the faces of those who doubt me. It's been a pleasure working with some of you, and I will not forget those of you soon. But remember, while today it is me, we all shall fall. In other words, I'm quitting.
Andy: Oompa loompa, doompadee dawesome, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom.
Ryan Howard: Dwight will be missed. Not by me so much...but he will be missed.
Dwight Schrute: One of my life goals was to die right here, in my desk chair. And today, that dream was shattered.
Jim Halpert: After you
Dwight Schrute: No thank you, I never let anyone walk in front of me
Jim Halpert: How come?
Dwight Schrute: 7/10 attacks come from the rear
Jim Halpert: That still leaves 3/10 attacks that could come from the front
Dwight Schrute: But I would block the attack, rendering it-(Jim slaps him)