Season 3

The Job

In an hour-long episode, Michael, Jim and Karen interview for a job opening at Corporate, leaving Dwight in charge of the Scranton branch.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: I have got it made in the shade. I know this company. The other branch managers are total morons. [calls Pam on his cell phone] Hey Pam, yeah. I forgot what day the interview was and I drove to New York accidentally. Be like three hours late.

Andy Bernard: [to Jim] What's up, Big Haircut? You are no longer Big Tuna. From henceforth, you shall be known as Big Haircut.

Michael Scott: Please hand this letter of congratulations to Dwight K. Schrute.
Dwight Schrute: But that's my name. [reads the letter] "Dwight, congratulations, a-wipe. Don't screw the pooch."

Pam: Umm, about the beach...
Karen: It's okay. We all say things without thinking.
Pam: Oh no, it's not that. I've actually been thinking that for a long time and I'm glad I said it. I just... I'm sorry if it made you feel weird.
Karen: Oh, okay.
[cut to Karen interview]
Karen: Pam is... kind of a bitch.

Creed: www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts. Check it out.
[cut to Ryan]
Ryan Howard: Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the Intranet, it's...pretty shocking.

Dwight Schrute: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check in time now. Check out time is never.
Jim Halpert: Does my room have cable?
Dwight Schrute: No, and the sheets are made of fire!
Jim Halpert: Can I change rooms?
Dwight Schrute: No, we're all booked up. Hell convention in town!
Jim Halpert: Can I have a late check out?
Dwight Schrute: I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim Halpert: You're not the manager...even in your own fantasy?
Dwight Schrute: I'm the owner....co-owner. With Satan!
Jim Halpert: Okay, just so I understand it... in your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight Schrute: But I haven't told you my salary.
Jim Halpert: Go
Dwight Schrute: Eighty thousand dollars a year!

Dwight Schrute: Once I'm officially Regional Manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.

Jan: I tried calling, but I kept getting voicemail.
Michael Scott: Weird, yeah. I didn't get both of your messages.

[talking about Jan's breast implants]
Meredith: I would never do that. Waste of money. In my experience, guys are way more attracted to the back of you than to the front.
[cut to Kevin]
Kevin Malone: I love fake boobs. Often times you find them on strippers.
[cut to Creed]
Creed: I find it offensive. Au naturelle, baby. That's how I like them. Swing low, sweet chariots.

Andy Bernard: I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has - my brain. Which I use to my advantage when advantageous.

Pam: So you would be the Regional Manager and the Assistant Regional Manager, Andy is your number two, I would be the secret Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight Schrute: Mmm, let's call it secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Dwight Schrute: Do you accept?
Pam: Absolutely I do.

Dwight Schrute: When you have done something good, you will receive one Schrute buck. One thousand Schrute bucks equals an extra five minutes for lunch.

Dwight Schrute: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Jan: [after being fired] So long, assholes.

Michael Scott: So I'm back. And I am never ever going to leave. I am going nowhere.

Pam: I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified, and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just... we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down and then he did the same to me, but you know what? It's okay. I am totally fine. Everything is going to be totally...
[Jim enters room]
Jim Halpert: Pam. [to camera] Sorry. [to Pam] Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Pam: Yes.
Jim Halpert: All right. Then it's a date.
[Jim leaves. Pam smiles and tears up]
Pam: I'm sorry, what was the question?

[Ryan gets a call from David Wallace and finds out he got the job]
Kelly: Who was that?
Ryan Howard: Nobody. You and I are done.
Kelly: What?!