Season 3

The Convict

Michael discovers that one of his new coworkers has a criminal past, while Jim coaches Andy to make a play for Pam.

Memorable Quotes

Jim Halpert: [picking up phone] Jim Halpert.
Andy: I am so horny.
Jim Halpert: Okay, I can't help you with that.
Andy: Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim Halpert: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy: Oh, and I care why?
Jim Halpert: She's high-maintenance.
Andy: Next. How about...[sees Meredith walk by] Angela. Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.

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Michael Scott: I didn't hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.

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Michael Scott: Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy. Who went to prison for...polluting a black guy's lake.

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Angela: Sure. Let's protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.
Michael Scott: Good.

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Dwight Schrute: I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.

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Andy: I live to frolf.

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Kevin: I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because...it sounds an awful lot like what I do here...every day.

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Jim Halpert: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim Halpert: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.

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Michael Scott: [to Ryan during a "scared straight" seminar] You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball.