Season 3

Safety Training

Returning from anger management, Andy promises to make amends with his co-workers. Michael and Dwight lead the employees in safety training.

Memorable Quotes

Andy Bernard: Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. But after five weeks in anger management, I'm back. And I've got a new attitude, and a new name. And a bunch of new techniques for dealing with the grumpies.

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Andy Bernard: You can call me Drew.
Jim Halpert: No, I'm not gonna call you that.
Andy Bernard: Cool. I can't control what you do, I can only control what I do.
Jim Halpert: Andy.
Andy Bernard: Drew.

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Dwight Schrute: I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

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Dwight Schrute: Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned?
Jim Halpert: Andy, Dwight says welcome back and he could use a hug.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, tell him that that's not true.
Jim Halpert: Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, no, Jim, tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. [Andy walks away] Jim! Tell him!
Jim Halpert: Andy...nah, he's too far.
Dwight Schrute: Damn you.

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Michael Scott: We are going to listen in on Darryl’s presentation to the warehouse. And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity.

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Kevin Malone: [Darryle is talking about how many people die from the bailer] Ten bucks says it's over fifty.
Jim Halpert: You seriously want to bet?
Kevin Malone: Ever since March Madness ended, I've been so bored.

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Darryl: We do safety training every year. Or after an accident. We've never made it a full year. This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled...
Michael Scott: [in interview] "Hey Darryl, how's it hangin'?" Hahahahaha!

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Michael Scott: You don't go to the science museum and get handed a pamphlet on electricity. You go to the science museum, and you put your hand on a metal ball, and your hair sticks up straight...and you know science.

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Michael Scott: I think that everybody is going to vomit due to boredom.

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Michael Scott: Heart disease kills more people than bailers.
Lonny: That's called having a fat butt, Michael.
Michael Scott: No, no, it's...
Lonny: Yeah, yeah. That's fat butt disease. That's what you suffering from? Fat butt disease, Michael?
Kelly: Excuse me, Sea Monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds.
Lonny: Yeah?
Kelly: Yeah.
Lonny: I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you?
Kelly: Ryan!
Lonny: Dude, please tell your girl to shut up.
Kelly: What?
Ryan Howard: Kelly, you insulted the gentleman. Please apologize.
Kelly: Are you kidding me?

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Dwight Schrute: When you land, try and land like an eight-year-old. These bouncy castles aren't made for adults.

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Dwight Schrute: Want to do another test? I've got plenty of watermelons in my trunk.

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Dwight Schrute: I'm temporarily lifting the shun.
Andy Bernard: Thank you.
Dwight Schrute: Means nothing. I need you to do something for me.
Andy Bernard: Anything.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, calm down. I need you to acquire an inflatable house and/or castle.
Andy Bernard: You mean a moon bounce.
Dwight Schrute: What do you think? You've got an hour.
Andy Bernard: I'm gonna need petty cash.
Dwight Schrute: Shunning resumed.
Andy Bernard: Do you want a drawbridge?
Dwight Schrute: Un-shun. Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun.

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Dwight Schrute: Hey guys, listen up. Michael is up on the roof and acting strange.
Andy Bernard: Whoa, what's the situation?
Dwight Schrute: Un-shun. I think he's suffering from depression. Re-shun.
Andy Bernard: Okay, when's this shunning thing going to end?
Dwight Schrute: Un-shun. Never. Re-shun.

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Dwight Schrute: Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for "bummed out"?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut!
After the warehouse staff comes out they go through the dialogue again
Dwight Schrute: Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for "bummed out"?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut!
After seeing the diaglogue for the second time
Jim Halpert: I thought that the first run was a little dry, but they really hit stride with this one. I'm thinking about bringing my parents to see the matinee tomorrow.

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Kevin Malone: When someone gives you odds like 10,000 to 1, you take it. If John Melencamp ever wins an Oscar, I'm gonna be a very rich dude.

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Michael Scott: I "Braveheart." I am.

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Michael Scott: I saved a life -- my own. Am I a hero? I really cant say...but, yes.