Season 3

Grief Counseling

After learning that his old boss, the former regional manager, has died, Michael attempts to guide the Dunder Mifflin staff through their grief as he searches for the right way to honor a company man.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: I lost Ed Truck... and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears... and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer... and then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone... and I'm crying, and nobody can hear me, because I'm terribly, terribly... terribly alone.

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Dwight Schrute: When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.

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Michael Scott: I don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here.

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Michael Scott: He leaves work, he's on his way home. WHAM, his cappa is detated from his head.

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Dwight Schrute: (to Angela) If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.

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Creed: It's a real shame about Ed huh.
Michael Scott: Yeah. It must really have you thinkin.
Creed: About what?
Michael Scott: The older you get, the bigger the chances you're gonna die. You knew that.
Creed: Ed was decapitated.
Michael Scott: What?
Dwight Schrute: Really?
Creed: He was drunk as a skunk, he was flying down Route 6. He slides under an 18 wheeler. Pop. Snaps right off.
Michael Scott: Oh my God.
Dwight Schrute: That is the way to go. Instant death. Very Smart.
Creed: You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.
Dwight Schrute: You're thinking of a chicken.
Creed: What did I say?

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Dwight Schrute: And how big do you want this robot?
Michael Scott: Lifesize.
Dwight Schrute: Mmm no. Better make it two-thirds. Easier to stop if it turns on us.

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Dwight Schrute: Look. I gave him a 6 foot extension chord so he can't chase us.
Michael Scott: That's perfect.

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Michael Scott: If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job.

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Dwight Schrute: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

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Pam: If you wanna do something for the funeral...
Dwight Schrute: Yes, please.
Pam: Maybe you could play a song on your recorder.
Dwight Schrute: Excellent.
Pam: Do you have it with you?
Dwight Schrute: Always.

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Michael Scott: Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

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Dwight Schrute: I'm sorry! I grew up on a farm! We killed a pig whenever we wanted bacon! And when my grandfather died, we reburied him in an old oil drum! (pause) He would have fit if Michael had just given me another minute.