Season 3

Gay Witch Hunt

When Michael unintentionally outs a gay employee, he stumbles through a sensitivity minefield.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?
Toby: I think Oscar would like it if you just used "lame" or something.
Michael Scott: But that's what faggy means!

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Michael Scott: You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.

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Michael Scott: Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant "lame". And now it means a man who makes love to other men. We're all homos. Homo sapiens.

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Dwight Schrute: Jim told me you can buy gaydar online.
Michael Scott: That's ridiculous.
Dwight Schrute: Probably. He didn't tell the truth a lot.
Michael Scott: Let's call him and get the website.
Dwight Schrute: Definitely.

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Ryan Howard: Yeah, I'm not a temp anymore. I got Jim's old job. Which means at my ten year high school reunion, it will not say "Ryan Howard is a temp". It will say "Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate and a midrange paper supply firm". [pause] That'll show 'em.

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Creed: I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the 60's I made love to many, many women - often outdoors, in the mud and the rain...and it's possible a man slipped in. [shrugs] There'd be no way of knowing.

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Michael Scott: The company has made it my responsibilty today to put an end to 100,000 years of being weirded out by gays.

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Jim Halpert: I can’t say whether Dunder Mifflin paper is less flammable, sir, but, I can assure you that it’s certainly not more flammable.

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Michael Scott: I need to know who else is gay. I don't want to offend anyone else.
Dwight Schrute: You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.
Michael Scott: Yeah. I'm sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.

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Phyllis: I'm getting married to Bob Vance.
Michael Scott: That's great! Congratulations. That is great and frankly... kinda amazing. See... everybody has a chance.

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Michael Scott: Gay porn, straight porn, it's all goooood. I don't particularly get into this, but you know what, I totally see the merit. And actually, it is quite beautiful.

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Stanley: I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.

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Michael Scott: I watch the L Word...I watch Queer as [bleep].
Toby: That's not what it's called.