Memorable quotes from the hit NBC show "The Office"

Office Quotes from Dwight Schrute, Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, Andy Bernard & more!

Season 3

Cocktails

At a company event, Jan and Michael decide to come clean to the CFO about their relationship. While the rest of the office goes out for drinks, Jim meets Karen's ex.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: A lot of people think that magic camp is just for kids, and that's why so many other people in my class were kids. Self-fulfilling prophesy. It's umm, really for anybody with a dream, and a belief in magic, and a little extra time after school.

Michael Scott: Alright. Ready? Come on guys... early worm gets the worm.
Jim Halpert: Really? Another worm, like are they friends?
Dwight Schrute: It's early bird gets the worm.

Michael Scott: Jimbo, last chance car pool.
Jim Halpert: Oh no thanks, I think Karen and I will take my car.
Michael Scott: Sure it might be a good idea, we'll go in together, we can save some gas, it'll be a long trip. Play some games?
Jim Halpert: Ummm.
Michael Scott: My Spy?

Dwight Schrute: Thanks for inviting me along.
Michael Scott: Oh sure, I really didn't give it any thought. Wait, should you be going?

Dwight Schrute: Oh, hey. You know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.

Jan: I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside? I overcome my nausea, faulty feeling love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside, I uh date Michael Scott publicly and collapse on myself like a dying star. Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God, what am I saying.

Creed: [greeting young men and women as they enter Poor Richard's bar] I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff's station.

Dwight Schrute: [in rocking chair in kid's room] Oh good, your up. Hey who makes this chair?
Kid: I don't know, it was here when I was born.
Dwight Schrute: Hmmm. I want one. It's really good solid construction. It's comfortable. What is this, Oak?
Kid: I don't know.
Dwight Schrute: What do you know?

Dwight Schrute: The chimney's in decent shape, not great. I found some termite damage in a crawl space and some structural damage in the foundation, so all in all, it was a pretty fun cocktail party.