Season 3

Business School

Ryan invites Michael to be a guest speaker at his business school. Meanwhile, Dwight battles a bat that gets loose in the office while Pam invites co-workers to her first art show.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.

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Ryan Howard: If you bring your boss to class, it automatically bumps you up a full letter grade. So I'd be stupid not to do it...right?

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Dwight Schrute: Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.

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Jim Halpert: [pretending he was bit by a vampire bat] I feel so...tingly. So strangely powerful.
Karen: Hey Jim, here's the aspirin you wanted.
Jim Halpert: Oh thank god. I have such a headache from the glare.
Karen: What glare?
Jim Halpert: The glare off Angela's crucifix - it's blinding.

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Dwight Schrute: If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a “-sylvania.” Like Pennsylvania.

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Kevin Malone: [after cornering a bat] I am a hero.

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Kelly: Don't kill it, Creed. Bats are animals with feelings and families.
Creed: Animals don't feel pain.
[bat flies out]
Kelly: Oh my God! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!

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Michael Scott: There are four kinds of business. Tourism. Food service. Railroads. And sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.

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Michael Scott: You need something to sell. Now this could be anything. It could be a thingamajig. Or a whosi-whatsi. Or...
[pulls out a Watchamacallit candy bar from his pocket]
...a "Whatchamacallit."
[throws candy bar to the students. No one makes an effort to catch it and it lands on the floor.]
Now, you need to sell those in order to have a "PayDay."
[takes out a PayDay candy bar and throws it to the students. It lands on the floor again.]
And, if you sell enough of them, you will make a "100 Grand."
[takes out a 100 Grand candy bar and throws it to the students. It hits a student in the face.]
Satisfied?
[pulls out a Snickers candy bar]