Season 3

Back from Vacation

Michael returns from his Jamaican vacation a relaxed and revitalized man, but that quickly changes when a spicy vacation photograph of Jan makes its way around the office. Meanwhile, Jim and Karen have an argument — with Pam caught in the middle of it all.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: Hey Mon!
Pam: Hey, you have a bunch of messages...and that's nice. Hanna quit while you were gone. I guess she memo 'd a file some complaints she had about being a working mother, and so you might also have to be deposed.
Michael Scott: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.. relax, just relax. Ok, I'll get to all of it later.
Pam: It's kind of serious.
Michael Scott: Aren't you going to ask me how Jamaica was? Say it... ask me.
Pam: How was Jamaica?
Michael Scott: It was sooo good! Awwwwwh! Hey mon! At Sandals, Jamaica, when somebody says "Hey Mon!" everyone says "Hey Mon!" back.
Stanley: Oh Michael, I'm glad you're here.
Michael Scott: Stanley, you know what, it is really good to see you too.
Stanley: My bonus check was $100 less than you promised.
Michael Scott: Ok, well then Payroll is in charge of all of that.
Stanley: They said I should to talk to you.
Michael Scott: Well, I'm just getting settled in, so I'm gonna...
Stanley: I am not doing a lick more work till I get my full bonus check.
Michael Scott: You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brothas... mon.

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Michael Scott: You know I had never been out of the country before now. Got to see how Jamaicans live, it is great, you know, they just relax, they party all the time.
Pam: It's kind of an impoverished country.
Michael Scott: Yeah, gosh, great. You know what Pam, make a note... I want us all to start having Pina Coladas everyday at three.
Pam: You can't today, we're doing inventory.
Michael Scott: Inventory is at the end of December.
Pam: We couldn't do it without you so we postponed.
Michael Scott: I specifically went on vacation so I would miss it.

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Michael Scott: Inventory is boring. In the islands they don't make you do stuff like take inventory. Why do think so many businesses moved to the Caymans?

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Michael Scott: Tonight we are going to have an inventory luau. I want to bring back a little slice of paradise to the Dunder-Mifflin warehouse inventory, so party-planning committee, get on it.
Angela: By the end of the day? That's impossible.
Michael Scott: The Jamaicans don't have a word for "impossible."
Jim Halpert: Yep, it's English, it's "impossible."

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Michael Scott: How hard is a luau? All you need is some grass skirts, pineapple, poi, tiki torches, suckling pig, some fire dancers. That's all you need.

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Michael Scott: Jan told me to play it cool and not tell anybody because it could get us both in trouble. So officially I did not see her. But I did see Jan there. In our room. At night, and in the morning. That's all I'm gonna say. We had sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.

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Michael Scott: Daryl! Hi, where's Daryl?
Roy: He's in the office.
Michael Scott: Hi. Hey, man... how's it going?
Darryl: Alright, what's up Mike?
Michael Scott: That's great. Ok, umm, so did you get an e-mail from me?
Darryl: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Ok, well that was supposed to go to Packer, not Packaging. Did you already forward it to a whole bunch of people?
Darryl: Uh huh.
Michael Scott: Ok. Well, did you get the second e-mail that I sent? Explaining that the first e-mail was a mistake and that you should delete it...
Darryl: Yep
Michael Scott: And you sent that out to everyone?
Daryl [eating lunch]: Michael, I'm very busy down here.

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Michael Scott: I have a special assignment for you.
Dwight Schrute: Who's the target?
Michael Scott: A sensitive e-mail has been released to the office. It contains a file, a picture, the filename is jamaica-jan-sun-princess.
Dwight Schrute: What's it of?
Michael Scott: Not important.
Dwight Schrute: I'm not sure, you need to tell me everything or I cannot accept this assignment.
Michael Scott: Ok. Forget it.
Dwight Schrute: Ok, I accept it.

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Pam: Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. Just a second. Michael, it's Jan on the phone.
Michael Scott: Oh God, no, no, no... Pam. Pam. Tell her I'm not here. Tell her I ran out of gas... hit a deer... I hit a deer with my car. Tell her I hit a cat. I hit a cat.
Pam: He'll call you back.
Michael Scott: She bought it? Ok, Ok.
Dwight Schrute: Michael hit a deer?

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Pam [crying by herself}
Dwight Schrute [enters hallway]: Who did this to you? Where is he?
Pam: What, no it's nothing.
Dwight Schrute [takes off jacket, ties it around his waste]: It's hot in here.
Pam: Yeah.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah. [give Pam handkerchief]
Pam: Thanks, you don't need to stay here.
Dwight Schrute: I know. [puts arm around Pam]
Pam [continues crying]
Dwight Schrute: So you're PMS'ing pretty bad, huh?
Pam [cries more]

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Jan: You're wrong for me... in... in every way. But I still find myself wanting to be with you.
Michael Scott: And I to you... in addition, feel, the same feelings, that you are, as well.
Jan: Good. Good.
Michael Scott: So, um, thanks for coming by.

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Kevin Malone [folding up poster of Michael and Jan]: What am I gonna do? I'm going to hang it up at home. I don't have a lot of art.