Season 3

A Benihana Christmas

Michael sends out an inappropriate photoshopped Christmas card and gets his heart broken for the holidays by girlfriend Carol. Andy takes Michael out drinking, with Dwight and Jim, while tensions on the party planning committee between Angela, Pam and Karen cause rival parties to form.

Memorable Quotes

Dwight Schrute: [bringing in a dead goose] I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!

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Dwight Schrute: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim Halpert: Wow. Win-win.
Dwight Schrute: Exactly, thank you, Jim.
Phyllis: I like goose. If it's already dead, is it so crazy if we eat it?
Creed: That's crazy. It's crazy.

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Michael Scott: Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops. With mint...
Pam: Can I help you, Michael?

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Jim Halpert: It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is bold the right word?

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Michael Scott: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
Stanley: You can't cancel a holiday.
Michael Scott: Give it up Stanley and you'll lose New Year's.
Stanley: What's that mean?
Michael Scott: Jim, take New Year's away from Stanley.

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[Michael is laying behind the reception desk, we only see his legs sticking out from it.]
Michael Scott: It hurts my heart. It hurts my stomach. It hurts my arms.
Pam: Okay, well why are you laying like that?

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Karen: Uh, so I had a couple of ideas to make the Stamford people feel more at home. Each year we have a Christmas raffle...
Angela: It would never work here.
Karen: Okay...um, another idea was karaoke...
Angela: No.
Karen: A Christmas drinking game...
Meredith: YES.
Angela: God help you!

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Ryan Howard: I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.

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Dwight Schrute: Pam and Karen! I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning immediately.
Pam: You can't do that.
Dwight Schrute: As ranking number 3 in this office, I am ordering you to-
Andy: Ummm, I'm number 3.
Dwight Schrute: You're number 4.
Andy: Yeah, but I'm number 3.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, no. You must turn over to me all Christmas decorations and party paraphernalia immediately. They will be returned to you on January 4th.
Jim Halpert: Okay, I think I can help here.
Dwight Schrute: Okay good, they...
Jim Halpert: As ranking number 2, I am starting a committee to determine the validity of the two committees and I am the sole member of the committee. We'll act on this now.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, this is stupid.
Jim Halpert: Can you please keep it down? I'm in session. [thinks] I've determined this committee is valid.
Dwight Schrute: No, no, no. Wait. Permission to join the Validity Committee?
Jim Halpert: [thinks about it] Permission denied.
Dwight Schrute: Dammit!

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Michael Scott: I need my entourage. Jim, Dwight, Ryan, c'mon - we're going to Asian Hooters.
Ryan Howard: I'm not feeling so well. I've got a ton of work to do here. MSG allergy, peanut allergy, I just ate there last night.
Michael Scott: [feels Ryan's head] Alright, feel better.
Jim Halpert: Wow, thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.
Ryan Howard: Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. I keep mine in here [shows Blackberry]. Look alive, Halpert. Welcome back.

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Michael Scott: Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'.