Season 2

The Carpet

It's Lonely At the Top - When someone soils the carpet in Michael's (Golden Globe nominee Steve Carell) office, Michael begins to question his popularity with his staff. He temporarily takes Jim's (John Krasinski) desk in the bullpen in order to bond with his troops - and initiates a sales contest to boost morale. Jim is forced to sit by chatterbox Kelly (Mindy Kaling), where he can't make any eye contact with Pam (Jenna Fischer). Rainn Wilson and B.J. Novak also star.

Memorable Quotes

Ryan Howard: Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.

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Michael (to Pam): Spamster
Pam: Umm, Pam plus spam plus..?
Michael Scott: Hampster. Welcome back. How was your vacation?
Pam: It was great
Michael Scott: Yeah. Did you get lucky? Oop, boink!

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Michael Scott: I cannot believe a pipe burst and left that.
Toby: That's no burst pipe.
Michael Scott: How do you know that? What is it then?
Creed (enters): Hey guys, somebody making soup?

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Michael Scott: Here she comes, all cleaned? Great.
Dwight Schrute: Ooh still stinky, it's worse. She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. Total permeation.

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Michael (sitting in office): I'm a big Fear Factor fan, umm a big a fan of anything Joe Rogan does actually, so this is my audition tape. Uggh I can't stand it, I can't stay in here another second.

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Michael (sitting at Jim's desk): Hey Jim, I thought that we would be desk buddies while they change my carpet.
Jim Halpert: That might be a little difficult with one computer.
Micheal: Oh.
Jim Halpert: There's definitely a desk open in the back...
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Jim Halpert: ...which I guess I'll be taking.
Michael Scott: No no no seriously I don't mind sharing.
Jim Halpert: No no no seriously I'll be in the back.

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Jim Halpert: Hey Kelly.
Kelly: Are you moving back here?
Jim Halpert: Umm, just for the day while Michael's at my desk.
Kelly: Because Toby used to sit there but then he had to move over there because of an allergy.
Jim Halpert: Allergic to the desk?
Kelly: Weird.

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Michael Scott: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... the old bullpen.
Dwight Schrute: Ha, ha, ha
Michael Scott: The old bullpen. Don't hate me.
Dwight Schrute: Ok
Michael Scott: This is great.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah
Michael Scott: The pressures of my office are insane. I just... you couldn't understand, but man you guys have it easy out here. You know I used to site right here.
Dwight Schrute: No way
Michael Scott: Yeah
Dwight Schrute: And who had your office?

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Michael Scott: Ed Truck, yuck, Ed Truck was the manager before me. Horrible. He hated fun. It was like, oh Ed Truck is walking toward us, stop having fun. Start pretending to do work. What a jerk. He's... you know what... I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager people would laugh when they saw me coming, and would applaud as I walked away.

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Michael Scott: When I was in training many years ago, not so long ago. I worked side by side with a fellow named Todd Packer, and together we rocked the office. Packer and I once spent the whole day with our pants off, and when people noticed we convinced them that they were crazy. Another time Packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like a minute. The guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired. Once as a joke Packer banged every chic in the office. D'it's hysterical.

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Michael (whispering): Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: Let's send up Accounting.
Dwight Schrute: What?
Michael Scott: Old fashioned raid, Sales on Accounting.
Dwight Schrute: Hah, hah, hah.
Michael Scott: Follow my lead.

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Michael Scott: Why would somebody ruin a perfectly good carpet? I don't know. Could be done out of hate. Could be done out of love. It could be completely neutral. Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady, and well she doesn't do a very good job obviously because my office still reeks like you would not believe. I hate her. You know what, I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism, against the office. The only thing that makes any sense.

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Michael Scott: You guys just are working for the weekend are you, I'm working for the week. Sales team, listen to me. This is what we're going to do. I'm going to up the ante a little bit, literally. Right here I'm going to put a crisp $100 dollar bill. The person with the most sales at the end of the day gets to keep the cash. Sound good?
Dwight Schrute: Yeah!
Michael Scott: 70, 80, 1, 2, 3. 83 dollars, still a lot of money and i'm going to leave it right over here where everybody can see it. I will be taking Jim's clients today because he is not here and out of sight. Out of the contest. Let's see who winds up with the cash, shall we?
Phyllis: You're going to compete against us?
Michael Scott: Oh it is on Phylis, it is so on!
Dwight Schrute: It is so on!
Michael Scott: God this is gonna be fun.
Dwight Schrute: Haha! Michael is going to wipe the floor with us!

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Michael Scott: This was no act of God, a person did this, a person who works in this office. Maybe all of them.

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Michael Scott: I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.
Stanley: That's not what a hate crime is.
Michael Scott: Well I hated it, alot! Ok... I... you know what... if the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment we'd be done.
(everybody looks around at each other)
Michael Scott: Very well, then you're all punished.
Pam: What's our punishment?
Michael Scott: You're all on a time out, just sit there quietly.
(Phylis's phone rings)
Michael Scott: No! No.

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Michael Scott: You can love a boss like you love a father.

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(Michael sitting at Jim's desk, phone rings)
Michael Scott: Yes
Caller: Hello, yes, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott.
Michael Scott: Who is this? How did you get this number?
Caller: Your mom, you gay nerd.
Michael Scott: Oh my God, Packer. Packster. Wacky Pack, how you doing?
Packer: Hey listen did you get that package I left for you?
Michael Scott: Uhhh, no... did anybody see a package here today? No, how big was it?
Packer: It was pretty big.
Michael Scott: Really?
Packer: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Did you see a big package? Where did you leave it?
Packer: I left it in the middle of your office.
Michael Scott: Really? Did you guys see a big package in the middle of my office?
Roy: You mean the thing?
Packer: hahahahahahahhahahahah
Michael Scott: Are you kidding me?! Hoho, that was Packer! Oh you are dead! You are, you are dead my friend! That is hilar-oh God, of course it was you! Oh-o-o, Yeah! Yeah! It was Packer!