Season 2

Michael's Birthday

Michael tries various ruses to get the staff interested in his birthday, but they're more concerned about Kevin's test for skin cancer.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: Oh, fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. So I have a perfect icebreaker if I ever meet Teri Hatcher.

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Pam: If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. It would be a pretty busy week.

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Dwight Schrute: OK, that is not an eight-foot sub.
Delivery Boy: Uh, we don't make an eight-foot sub. This is eight one-foot subs.
Dwight Schrute: F.

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Dwight Schrute: (After he didn't tip the sub man) Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.

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Pam: [We got Kevin] 69 Cup-of-Noodles.
Jim Halpert: Which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number.
Pam: And his favorite lunch.

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Michael Scott: You know what the best medicine is?
Kevin Malone: The doctor said a combination of Interferon and Dacarbazine.
Michael Scott: And laughter.

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Michael Scott: Hey Pam? All that stuff with Kevin...pretty scary. I'm thinking that, uh, next time you're in the shower, you should check yourself out, you know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking timebags.

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Kevin Malone: (after getting the results of his skin cancer test) It's negative!
Michael Scott: God...we're gonna beat this, OK? C'mere...(hugs Kevin)
[Later]
Michael Scott: Well apparently in the medicine community, negative means 'good.' Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.

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Kelly: I can still remember when Princess Diana died. Oh my god, that was the saddest funeral ever! (softer) That, and my sister's.
[Dwight and Angela speak in "code" to hide their office romance from Ryan]
Dwight Schrute: What about that meeting later...to discuss finances?
Angela: ...Yes. (whispered) But don't expect any cookie.
Dwight Schrute: (whispered) But what if I'm hungry?
Angela: (whispered) No cookie!