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Memorable quotes from the hit NBC show "The Office" - Seasons 1-5

The best Office Quotes from Dwight Schrute, Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, Andy Bernard & more!

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The Office : Season 2 Quotes

The Dundies

After the annual staff Dundies awards is redlined by Corporate, Michael is uncertain if he can produce the caliber of evening his staff have come to expect.
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Sexual Harassment

Michael fears that a new Corporate crackdown on sexual harassment will dampen his reputation as the office "forward king".
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Office Olympics

While Michael and Dwight are out of the office for the day trying to close a deal on a new condo for Michael, Jim and Pam arrange for the staff to participate in an "Office Olympics."
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The Fire

The office is forced into the parking lot for the day when a fire starts in the kitchen.
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Halloween

Michael must fire someone by the end of the day, and he has no idea who it will be.
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The Fight

Talk of Dwight's karate experience gets Michael's competitive juices flowing, leading to a lunchtime match between them at Dwight's dojo.
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The Client

While Michael and Jan try to close a deal with a new client, the office staffers perform a table read of a screenplay Michael has written.
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Performance Review

Michael conducts annual performance reviews while he himself is reviewed by Jan. Jim and Pam convince Dwight it's actually Friday.
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Email Surveillance

Michael discovers that he is the only member of the office not invited to Jim's barbecue party. Meanwhile, Pam thinks she may have discovered something about Dwight and Angela.
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Christmas Party

Michael converts the annual Secret Santa gift exchange to a Yankee swap when he is dissatisfied with his gift, throwing Jim's plan to give a special gift to Pam into disarray.
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Booze Cruise

Michael chooses a nighttime lake cruise for the annual camaraderie event.
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The Injury

Michael burns his foot while grilling bacon on his George Foreman grill. When Dwight leaves the office to "rescue" him, he crashes his car and suffers a concussion.
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The Secret

After confiding in Michael about his secret crush on Pam on the Booze Cruise, Jim begins to fear that Michael may not be up to the task of keeping his secret. Dwight investigates Oscar's suspicious absence from work on Spring cleaning day.
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The Carpet

When someone deposits an odorous substance on the carpet in Michael's office, he spends the day at Jim's desk — relocating Jim to a back room with Kelly. While at Jim's desk, Michael holds a sales contest with the other salesmen and continues to wreak havoc on other areas of the office. Kelly asks Jim if he could find out if Ryan is interested in her.
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Boys and Girls

Corporate forces the female Dunder Mifflin employees to attend a "women in the workplace" seminar, conducted by Jan. Michael (in retaliation) assembles all the men in the warehouse for a "men in the workplace" seminar.
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Valentine's Day

Michael spends Valentine's Day in a meeting with other branch managers at Corporate in New York City as varied levels of romance occur back in the Scranton office.
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Dwight's Speech

Dwight is named Dunder Mifflin Salesman of the Year and is terrified about the speech he must make at a big convention, so Michael (who won Salesman of the Year twice in a row) begins coaching Dwight on proper public speaking behavior. Jim decides to take a trip out of town, but has trouble deciding on his destination.
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Take Your Daughter to Work Day

When Dunder Mifflin employees bring their children into work, Michael begins to express his good nature toward children. Pam, who admits to not being good with kids but wishes to change this because she is getting married, is determined to befriend just one child.
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Michael's Birthday

Michael tries various ruses to get the staff interested in his birthday, but they're more concerned about Kevin's test for skin cancer.
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Drug Testing

When Dwight finds a half-smoked joint in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot, he is determined, in his capacity as a volunteer sheriff's deputy, to expose the guilty parties. Following a jinx, Pam forces Jim into a position where he is not allowed to talk for the rest of the day.
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Conflict Resolution

Michael takes it upon himself to facilitate conflict resolution by reading all of the complaints aloud to the office, which causes more office tension.
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Casino Night

The warehouse is converted into a casino for a charity casino night and Michael accidentally winds up with two dates (Carol and Jan). Jim considers transferring to the Stamford branch as his secret crush on Pam finally comes to a head.
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Season 3 Office Episodes

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