Season 1

The Alliance

Amid the rumors of downsizing, Michael (Steve Carell) tries to raise employee morale with a birthday party, despite the fact that the closest birthday is a month away. As the birthday card for Meredith (Kate Flannery) makes the rounds in the office, Michael struggles to pen the funniest birthday message. Meanwhile, Dwight (Rainn Wilson) asks Jim (John Krasinski) to form a "Survivor"-type alliance so they can protect themselves during the upcoming downsizing. Elsewhere, Oscar (Oscar Nunez) collects pledges for his nephew's cerebral palsy charity walk. Michael tops everyone's donation by offering twenty-five dollars - not realizing the donation is per mile - and tries to back track on his generous offer. Jenna Fischer and B.J. Novak also star.

Memorable Quotes

Michael Scott: I think if I was allergic to dairy I'd kill myself.

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Meredith: [reading her birthday card] This one's from Michael, "Let's hope the only downsizing this year is that someone downsizes your age."
Michael Scott: Get it? 'Cause of the downsizing. Rumors. And 'cause you're getting old.
Meredith: I...get it.
Michael Scott: Merideth is so old...(how old is she?) Meredith is so old, that when she went to an antique store, they kept her. I got that off the internet, it's not mine. Hey Meredith, Liz Taylor called she wants her age back and her divorces back! Get it? 'Cause she's getting old, and she's been divorced, what twice?

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Dwight Schrute: Did you get your tickets?
Jim Halpert: To what?
Dwight Schrute: The gun show. [kisses bicep]

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Michael Scott: I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words: you're fired. "You're fired." Oh, "you're fired." He just makes people sad. And an office can't function that way. No way. "You're fired." I think if I had a catchphrase it would be "you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want." But that's unrealistic, so.