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Memorable quotes from the hit NBC show "The Office" - Seasons 1-5

The best Office Quotes from Dwight Schrute, Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, Andy Bernard & more!

The Office Season 5
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The Office Season 1
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Pilot

 

Season 1

Pilot

When a documentary crew comes to the offices of Dunder Mifflin to observe the employees and learn about modern management, manager Michael Scott (Steve Carell) tries to paint a happy picture of his domain, but his jokes keep falling flat. Then, worse, his supervisor from the corporate office tells him that his branch may be downsized. Making a characteristically bad leadership decision, Michael decides not to tell his staff, but the information quickly leaks. Meanwhile sales rep Jim (John Krasinski) spars with his irritating nemesis Dwight (Rainn Wilson), and flirts with office receptionist Pam (Jenna Fischer), until they are all forced to consider what their options are if there is downsizing. B.J. Novak also stars.

Memorable Office Quotes

Michael Scott: It's simply beyond words. It's incalculable.


Michael Scott: This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now you should have seen her a couple of years ago!
Pam: What?
Dwight Shrute: Dammit, he put my stapler in Jell-O again!
Pam: I don't think it would be the worst thing in the world if they let me go. Because then I might...it's just...I don't think many girls grow up wanting to be a receptionist.
Michael Scott: My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No no no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, barely spoke a word of English, but he came to me and said "Mr. Scott, will you be the godfather to my child?" Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.
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