Toby Flenderson Quotes

Michael Scott: I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?
Toby Flenderson: I think Oscar would like it if you just used "lame" or something.
Michael Scott: But that's what faggy means!

Michael Scott: What if Pam was a lesbian?! What if she brought her partner into work, would that be crossing the line?
Toby Flenderson: No!
Michael Scott: What if they made out, in front of everybody...
Toby Flenderson: Well, that would be...
Michael Scott: ...at home? And I told everybody everything about it?
Toby Flenderson: OK, I'm lost.
Michael Scott: OK, then, well let's act it out. Pam, you will be girl "A". And, girl "B" will be... [long pause] ... OK, we'll use the doll. [motions hand forward] Pam? Pam?
[Pam is shocked]

Dwight Schrute: What does the female vagina look like?
Toby Flenderson: Technically, I am in Human Resources, and Dwight was asking me about human anatomy. Um... I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly.

Ryan Howard (eating cheese stick)
Toby Flenderson: Wow, you just dive right in.
Ryan Howard: You know, around age 12 I just started going for it.

Michael Scott: I cannot believe a pipe burst and left that.
Toby Flenderson: That's no burst pipe.
Michael Scott: How do you know that? What is it then?
Creed (enters): Hey guys, somebody making soup?

Michael Scott: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby Flenderson: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a schoolnight, and you know, Hooter's is catering, and is that- is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott: [imitating Toby] Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.