Andy Bernard Quotes

Andy Bernard: Sabateur! Sabateur! I'm going to kill you for real. This game...the game is over, I'm really going to shoot you!

Andy Bernard: We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.
Jim Halpert: Excuse me?
Andy Bernard: Roller-coastery friendship. Hot and cold. On again, off again. Sexual tension-filled type of deal. It’s very Sam and Diane.
Jim Halpert: Wow.
Andy Bernard: From Cheers.
Jim Halpert: Yup.
Andy Bernard: Yeah.

Dwight Schrute: Hello. I don't believe we've been introduced. Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
Andy Bernard: Andy Bernard, Regional Director in charge of sales.
Dwight Schrute: So you'll be reporting to me then.
Andy Bernard: On the contrary.
Dwight Schrute: My title has "manager" in it.
Andy Bernard: And I'm a director. Which on a film set, is the highest title there is. Do you know anything about film?
Dwight Schrute: I know everything about film. I've seen over 240 of them.
Andy Bernard: Congratulations.

Jim Halpert: [picking up phone] Jim Halpert.
Andy Bernard: I am so horny.
Jim Halpert: Okay, I can't help you with that.
Andy Bernard: Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim Halpert: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy Bernard: Oh, and I care why?
Jim Halpert: She's high-maintenance.
Andy Bernard: Next. How about...[sees Meredith walk by] Angela. Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.

Andy Bernard: I live to frolf.

Jim Halpert: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy Bernard: I play the banjo.
Jim Halpert: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy Bernard: [singing] You know I can, my man.

Andy Bernard: I really Schruted it.

Andy Bernard: Oompa loompa, doompadee dawesome, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom.

Andy Bernard: [To Michael] I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk! Waitresses - hot! Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter! Then quick nap at my place, then we hit the tizzown.