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The Office: Season 5 Quotes

Episode 1 Quotes- Weight Loss

The Scranton branch engages in an inter branch weight loss competition to see which branch can lose the most cumulative weight.

Episode 2 Quotes - Business Ethics

Following Ryan's recent scandal at corporate, Holly must hold a business ethics seminar. The meeting gets out of control when Michael lets everyone speak freely about their unethical behavior at work.

Episode 3 Quotes - Baby Shower

Michael practices for the birth of Jan's baby by having Dwight go over possible birthing scenarios. Meanwhile, Michael tells Holly that he will pretend to dislike her for Jan's benefit.

Episode 4 Quotes - Crime Aid

Michael organizes a charity auction after the office gets broken into.

Episode 5 Quotes - Employee Transfer

Holly and Michael take the long trip to Nashua after they get some shocking news from corporate.

Episode 6 Quotes - Customer Survey

Dwight and Jim are shocked when they get the results of the annual customer survey report.

Episode 7 Quotes - Business Trip

Michael beings Andy and Oscar on a business trip to Canada, while Jim counts down the days until Pam gets back from art school.

Episode 8 Quotes - Frame Toby

Toby is back and not everybody is thrilled by it, especially Michael.

Episode 9 Quotes - The Surplus

A budget surplus divides the office on how to spend the windfall.

Episode 10 Quotes - Moroccan Christmas

The annual Christmas party gets derailed when Meredith sets herself on fire.

Episode 11 Quotes - The Duel

When Andy finds out about Dwight and Angela, it's a fight to the finish when the two men decide to take matters into their own hands.

Episode 12 Quotes - Prince Family Paper

Dwight and Michael spy on a rival paper company. The rest of the office gathers around to have a dispute about whether Hillary Swank is hot or not.

Episode 13 Quotes - Stress Relief

After Dwight's fire safety seminar goes awry, he must make amends to the stressed-out office. Michael tries a number of ways to get his employees to relax before discovering that he is the number one stressor at work.

Episode 14 Quotes - Lecture Circuit Part 1

David Wallace sends Michael on a lecture circuit to other branches to discuss Scranton's success.

Episode 15 Quotes - Lecture Circuit Part 2

Michael ends up in Nashua and is devastated to learn Holly has a new boyfriend.

Episode 16 Quotes - Blood Drive

Michael holds a singles mixer at the office after meeting a mysterious woman at a Valentine's Day blood drive.

Episode 17 Quotes - Golden Ticket

Michael comes up with the idea to put "golden tickets" into packages of paper for clients to redeem for discounts.

Episode 18 Quotes - New Boss

Dunder Mifflin's new VP has some plans that interfere with Michael's plans for his 15th anniversary.

The Office: Season 4 Quotes

Episode 1 Quotes - Fun Run

A freak accident causes Michael to feel the office is cursed. He explores the religious beliefs of his employees before deciding to hold a charity 5K fun run. Meanwhile, further developments in the romances of Pam and Jim, and Dwight and Angela are explored.

Episode 2 Quotes - Dunder Mifflin Infinity

Much to the dismay of Michael and many of the employees, Ryan returns to the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin to bring the company into the digital age. Angela is still upset about her cat.

Episode 3 Quotes - Launch Party

The Dunder Mifflin Infinity website is launching and Michael is excited about going to the big launch party in New York while Angela plans a satellite party for the Scranton branch. Meanwhile, Dwight competes against the website to see who can sell the most paper in one day.

Episode 4 Quotes - Money

As Jan renovates the condo, Michael confronts his growing debt every way he can, which includes pressuring his employees for a loan. Pam and Jim spend a night out on Dwight’s family farm, now a bed and breakfast.

Episode 5 Quotes - Local Ad

When the Scranton branch is asked to participate in a Dunder Mifflin ad, Michael seizes his chance to exhibit his creativity. Meanwhile, Dwight explores the online world of Second Life.

Episode 6 Quotes - Branch Wars

When Karen tries to woo Stanley away from Scranton, Michael fights back, dragging her ex, Jim, into his war. Meanwhile, the existence of a “Finer Things Club” further disturbs Dunder Mifflin’s calm.

Episode 7 Quotes - Survivor Man

After Ryan excludes Michael from a corporate wilderness retreat, Michael heads into the woods for his own survival adventure with nothing but a suit on his back. Meanwhile, Jim tries to revolutionize the office birthday party.

Episode 8 Quotes - The Deposition

Jan sues Dunder-Mifflin, and Michael is deposed as a witness. Kelly talks smack to Pam after Darryl beats Jim at ping pong.

Episode 9 Quotes - Dinner Party

Pam and Jim find they have run out of excuses and are forced to go to Jan and Michael's house for dinner. When Andy and Angela are also invited to dinner, Dwight's jealousy gets the best of him.

Episode 10 Quotes - Chair Model

Michael’s fascination with a woman modeling a chair in an office supply catalog makes him feel things he hasn’t felt in a while. With Michael distracted, Kevin and Andy team up to win back Dunder Mifflin’s stolen parking spaces, forcing them into a showdown with the bosses of the five businesses of the office park.

Episode 11 Quotes - Night Out

Michael and Dwight decide to surprise Ryan in New York for a night of clubbing and meet his friends. Meanwhile, the Scranton branch is upset when they find out they have to come in on a Saturday for Ryan’s website project. Jim’s plan to save them has unexpected results.

Episode 12 Quotes - Did I Stutter?

When Stanley snaps at Michael during a meeting, Michael tries to give Stanley an attitude adjustment. Michael's plan to fake-fire Stanley only worsens the situation. Dwight buys, and then flips, Andy’s car. Meanwhile, Pam deals with unwanted attention from her "back up" glasses after spending the night at Jim’s.

Episode 13 Quotes - Job Fair

Jim hits the links with Andy and Kevin to try and land his biggest client ever. Meanwhile, Michael sets up a booth at a local job fair, which happens to be at Pam's alma mater, to find "the best and the brightest" for Dunder Mifflin’s summer internship.

Episode 14 Quotes - Goodbye Toby

It’s Toby’s goodbye party at Dunder Mifflin and Michael demands a huge celebration that matches the joy in his heart. Angela, sick of Michael’s unreasonable last minute demands, refuses, and Michael turns to Phyllis to take over the party planning committee. Meanwhile, Dwight and Meredith haze the new HR woman, Holly.